


No Touchie

by hiddenheadspace



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Intimacy Is Confusing, Crack, Gen, Luci gets revenge for gadreel, M/M, on sam's behalf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1439713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddenheadspace/pseuds/hiddenheadspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam stared at him. “Cas,” he said slowly. “Are you trying to tell me that Lucifer wrote sex messages on my arms?”</p><p>“No!” Castiel said, a little too hastily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Touchie

**Author's Note:**

> I am trying to break my writer's block, so. Crack fic.

Unlike normal tattoos, the Enochian words didn’t seem to require any healing. Sam kept catching himself twisting to look at them every time he walked past any reflective surface. The lettering didn’t hurt, but he could feel spikes of electricity dancing across his skin.

He found Cas in the kitchen, arguing with Dean over something he didn’t have enough context to understand, but probably had something to do with the irate archangel who had shown up the day before and sequestered himself away with Sam all night.

Castiel abruptly stopped talking when he caught sight of Sam.

“He wouldn’t tell me what it says,” Sam said, a little plaintively.

Dean turned and saw the dark script up the sides of Sam’s arms. His expression turned furious instantly.

“What did he do to you?” he demanded.

Sam chose to ignore Dean in favor of marveling over Cas’ expression. He didn’t think he’d ever seen the angel blush.

Castiel laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder to stop him from stepping forward to examine the markings more closely. He was staring determinedly at the ceiling, still red-faced.

“It is harmless, and serves more as a warning than anything else,” Cas said reassuringly, but still looked flustered. “It’s merely—somewhat intimate in nature.”

Sam stared at him. “Cas,” he said slowly. “Are you trying to tell me that Lucifer wrote sex messages on my arms?”

“No!” Castiel said, a little too hastily.

Dean and Sam were both staring at him, and he looked like he wanted to flee. “The act of writing is what is intimate about it,” he clarified.

“So what does it say?” Sam was definitely relieved that Cas had answered no. That would have been completely inappropriate and. And. Anyway he was definitely relieved. No doubt there.

Sam stopped trying to wrap his brain around enough times to hide the faint, still-lingering hope that Lucifer cared enough about him to come back and stay long enough to hear Castiel’s answer.

“It means something along the lines of…” He cleared his throat, still visibly uncomfortable. “Maybe I should tell you this alone.”

“No way.” Dean’s expression clearly said that he wasn’t feeling like moving any time soon.

Cas avoided their eyes and said in one breath, “It says, ‘Do not touch, use, or otherwise manipulate without express, informed, enthusiastic permission from Sam himself. No other can provide consent for him. Attempt possession under pain of death.'”

Silence hung in the air.

“I believe Lucifer was upset by Gadreel’s possession of Sam,” Cas said into the baffled surprise from Sam and the self-righteous guilt from Dean.

“At least it’s not sex messages,” Sam said to try and cheer Dean up.

Castiel looked like he might need a glass of water and a few days before he could look Sam in the eyes again. 


End file.
